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10 moons
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A reflective game

The Family Wheel

When a baby arrives, everyone in the family changes chairs.

Before you start

Before the baby: you sit in the child chair. The parent chair holds your parents and your partner's parents. Your grandparents sit, faintly, in the grandparent chair.

Three chairs, and a wheel that turns

Every family has seats that someone holds, even when nobody names them. When a baby arrives, the wheel turns one step, and everyone moves. It can feel like a lot at once. Here are the three chairs:

  • The child chairBeing cared for and guided, while someone else holds the final say.
  • The parent chairMaking the decisions and carrying the responsibility for your own family.
  • The grandparent chairOffering experience and love, without holding the final say.
Families look different. Parents may live far away, may have died, or may not be safe to be close to. A chair can be held by anyone who plays that role, or it can stay empty. Choose who sits on your wheel today:

It takes about five to eight minutes. You can skip any moment.

This game is for reflection. It is not therapy or a psychological assessment, and it cannot predict how anyone in your family will respond. Your answers stay on this page while it is open. They are not saved or sent anywhere.

Based on the Family Wheel, a framework from Britta Bushnell, PhD, in Transformed by Birth (Sounds True, 2020). It’s an educational framework, not research, and this is an independent adaptation that she hasn’t reviewed or endorsed. See Sources.